The Nerd: Back in the '80s, it seemed like there were all these characters tryin' to keep kids off of drugs. So, just turn down the volume, and while you're at it, just turn off the fuckin' game. You'd rather listen to your only infant child choking to death. I mean, no bad game is complete without some auditory shit that makes you wanna puke. The Nerd: The music in this game just fuckin' sucks. You also have to prevent a poodle from getting her radio stolen, stop a lizard from drunk driving, and deal with other things that either want you to die or want you to snort crack up your bear snout. The Nerd: There's also this asshole named Ricky the Rat who's tryin' to knock you off your skateboard and turn you into a heroin junkie. The only difference is that The Flintstones was entertaining, but this. Like, literally, the same backgrounds are used over and over again, kinda like in a Flintstones cartoon - if you notice, durin' a driving scene, it's just the same stuff in the background, being repeated over and over again. The Nerd: The levels are just incredibly repetitive.

Now why would a bird wanna kill a skateboarding bear anyway? And you can't really hit birds because they just dart across the screen. You can get items like pizzas, frisbees, or hubcaps to throw at enemies. The Nerd: But every bird and attack dog on the block wants you dead, and there's not a whole lot you can do about that besides just jump for your life. Wally must reach his Uncle's house before dark, or at least before the timer runs out 'fore he loses all his lives. Your Uncle Gary Grizzly wants you to gather up your straight-edged friends, and head over to his house for a party. You're the ultra hip, skateboard schmuck Wally Bear. if you're lucky enough to have a friend who would actually play this piece of shit with ya. You can choose between one and two players. A stereotypical anti-drug corporate waste of imagination. The Nerd: So anyway, we start off with the title screen of a deformed bear with sunglasses riding a skateboard. (The Nerd pretends to insert the game sideways.) You know, did they really think kids are that stupid? I mean, it should just say, 'PRESS HERE, YOU DUMB FUCK!' Like some kid's gonna be like, 'Uhhh, duhh, how do I put the game in?'

And what's this button for? 'PRESS HERE'? Seriously, press here? What for? I mean is it supposed to be telling you how to push the game down? Like, how to put the game into the system? Well, I-I can't really push on it when it's inside the Nintendo. I mean, look at this: it doesn't look like any other NES game. Now the first thing that baffles me about this game is the actual cartridge. Wally Bear and the No! Gang - Angry Video Game Nerd - Episode 8

Avgn wally bear bonus